This blog and Sunday's Best in and of itself has been a challenge to me. Not because of anything other than the fact that one of my biggest challenges has been overcoming my issues with low self-esteem. Knowing and valuing my worth as a woman is a huge part of my testimony of how Jesus has changed my life over the course of the last 10years.
When I share this with others they are often shocked that I struggle to see how awesome God has made me from feelings of being unattractive, to being a good mom or even when it comes to sewing. It is a daily battle and for the past 3 weeks I have been fighting every Sunday just to stay focused and take a simple picture of what I made for myself to wear to church. For no other reason then the fact that God placed it on my heart to share it with all of you.
Having to be this exposed in front of others is one of the biggest challenges that this makeover has been helping me to overcome. It stems from a long story filled with situations of rejection and racism starting from a very early age in my life. You'll have to read about that when God opens the door for me to share it. For now, however, what you need to know is that it caused me to want to fly under the radar. Not to be too big for fear of being criticized or experiencing any rejection.
It is also the reason behind a lot of the poor choices that I made throughout my life from friendships to romantic relationships, and even how I prioritize and set standards in my professional life. I often allowed people to do and say things to me because I was afraid that they would stop being a part of my life or I would sacrifice my goals and stop doing things that were in my best interest for fear of disappointing them. Now I am not looking for a pity party, perhaps this level of transparency is a bit much for some of you.
However, God placed Sunday's Best and this makeover challenge on my heart for the following reasons:
1) To help me overcome and 2) to share my story and what i've overcome with others so that they too can overcome.
A makeover starts from the inside. Losing weight and buying a new wardrobe will serve you no purpose if you don't take the time to let God examine your heart and show some stuff that he wants to makeover.
This past week I made a decision to let God continue to show me who myself is and to just praise him for making me myself. I also made a decision that I wasn't going to care who was watching!
So if your watching and reading this week I decided to go back to basics. I made a black pencil skirt. I needed one for my closet. One that could take me from work to church. What I love most about this skirt has been the process of perfecting the pattern for it. I started with a commercial pattern and used it to make a couple of skirts and after each skirt that i have made i've worked out some of the fit issues. This is how I feel about my life these days. I'm a work in progress and each day God is perfecting me and bringing me closer to who I am in him.